Not a Quantum of Solace

It's been an not un-eventful weekend. If only I wasn't falling behind on my applications, I'dve enjoyed it thoroughly.

Thursday
1. Two near-death experiences. Important lessons learned.
(a)Helmets are extremely useful. You think you look cool whizzing by without one? Remind me to show you a photo of your head after it's been run through with a steel rod that fell off the traffic sign by the side of the road.
(b)It's a brilliant release to drive like a maniac when you feel frustrated or angry or whatever. It's also a chore to have to replace the visor just because it's a little scratched up. Despite that, I think it's a good idea not to let the two situations coincide.

2. Drove out of the city on a whim. Decided to call my sister on the way back in. In what I thought was an extremely low probability occurrence, it turned out that she was 27 km away, near my house, while I was near hers. T'was quiz night at Opus. I can't dance for nuts. Not while I'm sober anyway. Tequila shots.

Friday
1. Got a call to say that my name was on "the list" for the Saturday night Halloween party at Hard Rock Café. No one to go with, so I shelved that idea for the present.

2. Got a call from Alliance Francaişe to say that the head of admissions for my department at INSTN, Saclay was in Bangalore for a day and would like to meet me.

3. Rushed to work. Finished in record time.

4. Head off to Alliance. Stopped en route, payed up to avoid ticket for crossing red light(he says). Showed up there all nervous. I don't know why, considering they're the ones who want me there. An educational fair is going on. Oh, so that's why he's here. Strange though, there are people swarming all over the place, but no one to meet M. Meis.

Introduced to M. Meis. Very nice gentleman. He's a professor at the institute(i did not know that). Not only that, he'll be teaching me "Physics of Materials-Advanced", my first choice. He explains course details, what I ought to read before I come, scholarships, internships, thesis options and course schedule. The professors teach in French, yes, but they all know english too. Exams, reports, assignments either may or are only given in English. I'm still not sure what he said, but either way is fine. Apparently students have come with absolutely no knowledge of the language, and have picked it up in 2-3 months. I have 8 months to prep. So hey, i'm a lot better off, no?

He finally explains to me why the schedule they sent me was so hard to understand. The Board recommends that I skip the first year of the course and go directly to the second year of the Master's. Haha, real funny. Has he seen my cgpa and transcripts?? I look around. Nope, I'm the only one in the room.

He hopes I will qualify for the most sought after scholarship and internship, at the CEA itself. If I do well, he says, then they can use me as an example to propose to the CEA that they increase funding for foreign students. Thus improving Indo-France relations in the field of Nuclear research and academic relations in general. Oh, and I am the only Indian in the program.
I look around again. Nope, it is me he's talking to.

If he's just selling the course to me, then he's doing a brilliant job of it. Either way, it was fun. Who'd have thought that one day, I'd be this happy just to have had a technical discussion on materials engineering. Like mana in the desert. Now I am seriously tempted to take them up on the offer. It is the subject I want. It is Paris. It is necessary that I give a third reason?

4. Felt guilty for ditching work for personal business while boss is out of town. Go back to work, finish outstanding problems, enjoy the silence of a 9-to-5 workplace at 7pm on a Friday evening.

Saturday
Halloween
1. Met up with some friends for the BangJam. Lots of JAM'ing and not enough other stuff. The pre-JAM beer made it appreciably more interesting than usual. It also made me appreciably more obnoxious than usual, or so I seem to remember.

2. Pre-JAM session at LOR with Vivek Nithianand*. (*Name changed for anonymity)

3. No one seemed up to going all the way to HRC, so post-JAM session also at LOR. Joining me were thoughtworx, the 10-pointer, brasoc, pa13ty and Vivek*. More beers, many potato baskets, tried yelling over the music, gave up, discovered practical use for the years of dumb charades practice, remembered that I swore off beer, oh what the heck.

4. Saw brasoc home, dropped pa13ty home, thought of going back home made me shudder. Headed back to HRC. Why waste a freebie after all?

Sunday
1. Home at 3am. Or was it 4? Damn, I need a digital clock in the living room. Did I remember to lock the door after I came in? Did I remember to lock the gate after I parked the bike? Did I remember the bike?

2. Crashed.

3. Woke up at 4.30(?) Upma craving. Made upma with onions and peas. Tastes great with mom's thokku and curds. Just managed to put utensils in sink, wash hands and crash.

4. Woke up at 8.00am, drank 1L water, went back to sleep.

5. Woke up at 10.30am. Crap!! i forgot class. *groan* *facepillow*

6. Woke up at 11.00am. Made coffee. Finished the two books I got for my birthday. And there ended Sunday.

It's a good thing I finished 2 books and went almost all the way through a third. Else I'd have had to label the day 'wasted'.

The-day-that-shall-not-be-named.
1. Because if it is, it shall last twice as long.

I have entirely stopped reading.

Shame on me.

Meanwhile, I have yet another site to ignore. Tumblr.

I suppose people have moments of self-discovery everyday.

So what is it like to discover that all your actions or in-actions are governed by fear?

It makes you think. It makes you re-examine a lot of pre-conceptions.

But ah, that is the beauty of fear. It also leads to stasis.

So that all this thinking will not translate into even a single change.

So then you begin to fear the stasis too. But the more you fear, the more you stay the same.

As literal a vicious circle as one can hope to see.

If girls realized their responsibilities they would be so careful when they smiled that they would probably abandon the practice altogether.

There are moments in a man's life when a girl's smile can have as important results as an explosion of dynamite.

So this is what life is all about... Short bursts of euphoria interrupting one long stretch of gut-wrenching depression. It's a wonder the suicide rates are as low as they are.

It will not all come crashing down on my head.

It will not all come crashing down on my head.

It will not all come crashing down on my head.

It will not all come crashing down on my head.

Well, not necessarily.